Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Latest Article from Darcy Mellsop - "Spiders and stuff"

"Spiders and stuff"

If a spider builds a web, and it’s not catching any bugs, the spider basically has two choices: Do nothing and learn to survive on nothing or; rebuild its web in another place.

I was talking with a friend recently, and we were talking about Avoidance and he put it to me that Avoidance is pretty common sense really, just don’t do stuff like walk down dark alleys. But is it really that simple? I mean, we know this already, and most act on this advice, but there is still a heck of a lot of violence about, so what’s going on?

If you are the bad guy waiting in the dark alley, and you are getting bored waiting as everyone is heeding the advice not to venture there, are you going to remain there or go hunting? And if you are hunting in a different environment, such as bars, clubs and streets – generally where people
are, would you use the same strategies as you would have used in the colloquial dark alley, or do the strategies change and adapt to the environment?

We know that they change. Yes, we can change the balance of probability of being in locations safer than others, but predators do roam and scope. Predators have many skills, which they train and honed, especially verbal skills such as the manipulation strategies I’ve exposed in previous columns.

Understand this, predators aren’t all around us, generally good people are - but predators are everywhere. Scoping and evaluating. Good Avoidance stems from acknowledging this.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

"Let’s talk about violence" - Latest column by Darcy Mellsop

Let’s talk about violence.

I wonder if we talk enough about violence. I wonder why it isn’t main-stream conversation. We talk about other things prevalent in our society which affect us. We talk about sport, sex, politics, travel, our work, but not violence anywhere to the same degree.

When we do talk about violence, it’s usually to cover 3 things: justice (because we’ve read about something horrible that’s recently happened), what that person should have done to stop it from happening to them and what we might have done.

Is this enough to provide us valuable insight? Or are we simply picking over the bones of something that doesn’t offer us much value – talking about stuff that’s happened is reactive, we are really focusing on aftermath and also, it’s depressing stuff.

I think that we don’t have enough conversations that lead to us educating each other. Ok, so what’s the plan? Let’s share information. When we are talking about violence, talk about what we know. Talk about the things that some guy did that made us feel uncomfortable during the date and why we are not going to go out with him again. Or the time that our ego got in control of us and started to escalate a road rage incident. Challenge and discuss what you and others understand about keeping ourselves safe. Challenge, think and discuss lots. Simple. Because knowing violence, and knowing the early signs of violence, is extremely effective in reducing the balance of probability of being involved in violence.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

A few recent public events...

Photos of the awesome teams from the 'Safe For Life' Women's self defence courses in Auckland and Christchurch in Feb, the amazing team at the YWCA 'Fundamentals of women's self protection' seminar (it's a "funny photo" but i still haven't figured out what the hell I was doing in it) and the legendary crew at the 'Self Defence MEGA Weekend' in Auckland in Feb (Advanced Mega Weekend in April). Thanks to all who attended these and our other events in February, you guys are all amazing!

7 year old girl fights off attacker! Great job!

Great work by this girl! Listen to the last thing she says... "My school taught me...etc" She did what she was taught and it saved her. Yet still we have to BATTLE to get our education into schools or to get many parents to invest in their children's safety. Apathy and denial are the biggest threat to our kids...Check this great job out:


and here's the link to Whitcoulls online for our book 'Empower Your Kids to be Safe...For Life'. CLICK HERE