Below is an article by Phil Thompson which appeared in the latest TKD Talk magazine. :-)
Showing posts with label corporate self defence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label corporate self defence. Show all posts
Friday, June 21, 2013
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Latest Column from Darcy Mellsop
Since my last column, I’ve read about further attacks. One victim being a young lady
putting out the rubbish late at night in Newtown, Wellington. She commented "...If anything it's a warning to young girls: Don't go out alone in the dark at all."
We all know that the rules change when night comes. Things are different, and with the darkness, there is a natural fear that goes with it. Of course, I’m not going to argue for a moment that this fear is misplaced – for it is not. I, as we all do, know that it is not misplaced.
But let me ask, do we live in more fear than we should? And if so, what can we do about this? Obviously simply thinking “I won’t fear it any more” won’t work, as that is not a corrective action, it has no real benefit.
So what can we do about this? I’ve a saying that I use to challenge myself when I need to: Run into the darkness. What does that mean? Imagine standing in a silky green field, grass glimmering in the sun, and a warm breeze is the foundation for all your senses being so awake. But next to you just away from you - flat and straight cutting a straight edge across the grassy plain is a forest, dark and twisted and cold - in there only hate and fear and suffering.
So you think that you won't go in there, but guess what, look where you are standing and what you are experiencing. You are experiencing those feelings and you are not in the forest. So really, where does the forest end and your fears start? Not at the edge. No. Where you are now. The only way to truly subside fear is to face up to it. This can free us from a world of fear – how often do
we spend so much time fearing something that doesn’t happen? And if it does happen, we know that we’ll freeze because we don’t have the tools to deal with it - which is the likely reason why we fear it in the first place. Freeing ourselves from fear, gives us confidence. Exuding confidence, importantly, reduces the likelihood that we will be the targets of street violence – it reduces the balance of probability. Sounds good right? You have to be prepared to venture into the forest.
Whatever your fear is, whether it is to do with personal safety for yourself or family or something else, do something about it: run into the darkness.
Hey, if someone wants to bowl some cricket balls at me, please contact me, I’m scared silly of cricket balls and it would be good to get that sorted. The faster the bowler the better. Thanks.
putting out the rubbish late at night in Newtown, Wellington. She commented "...If anything it's a warning to young girls: Don't go out alone in the dark at all."
We all know that the rules change when night comes. Things are different, and with the darkness, there is a natural fear that goes with it. Of course, I’m not going to argue for a moment that this fear is misplaced – for it is not. I, as we all do, know that it is not misplaced.
But let me ask, do we live in more fear than we should? And if so, what can we do about this? Obviously simply thinking “I won’t fear it any more” won’t work, as that is not a corrective action, it has no real benefit.
So what can we do about this? I’ve a saying that I use to challenge myself when I need to: Run into the darkness. What does that mean? Imagine standing in a silky green field, grass glimmering in the sun, and a warm breeze is the foundation for all your senses being so awake. But next to you just away from you - flat and straight cutting a straight edge across the grassy plain is a forest, dark and twisted and cold - in there only hate and fear and suffering.
So you think that you won't go in there, but guess what, look where you are standing and what you are experiencing. You are experiencing those feelings and you are not in the forest. So really, where does the forest end and your fears start? Not at the edge. No. Where you are now. The only way to truly subside fear is to face up to it. This can free us from a world of fear – how often do
we spend so much time fearing something that doesn’t happen? And if it does happen, we know that we’ll freeze because we don’t have the tools to deal with it - which is the likely reason why we fear it in the first place. Freeing ourselves from fear, gives us confidence. Exuding confidence, importantly, reduces the likelihood that we will be the targets of street violence – it reduces the balance of probability. Sounds good right? You have to be prepared to venture into the forest.
Whatever your fear is, whether it is to do with personal safety for yourself or family or something else, do something about it: run into the darkness.
Hey, if someone wants to bowl some cricket balls at me, please contact me, I’m scared silly of cricket balls and it would be good to get that sorted. The faster the bowler the better. Thanks.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Workplace 'Bully' loses his advantage...
At Protect we don't use the term 'bullying' for any situations involving anyone older than around 10 years. After that age we call it what it really is: 'Peer Aggression'. By giving the issue the mantle that it deserves people tend to take the issue more seriously, and it is a serious issue. It causes loss of confidence, self esteem, and self belief, it has caused suicides, murders, assaults, and substance abuse, broken up families and ruined countless people's lives. It is not an issue that should be tolerated, either at school, the workplace or in any other facet of life.
Yesterday I received an email from a man who attended one of our recent 'Best Defence (phase 1)' courses, I'll call him Joe, which is not his real name. He explained how he had been the target of a 'workplace bully' for the past year. He had bought the issue up to management only to have it 'played down' and to a large degree, dismissed. It has caused him huge stress and affected his home life and his health. He told me that he has been looking for another job unsuccessfully, and that the sole reason for him wanting to leave his employer of six years (at a job that he otherwise loves) was because of this person.
At 'Best Defence' (as with all of our core courses) we address the behvioural and psychological aspects of self defence as well as the physical. Because of the way we train attendees there is an immediate shift in belief systems, resulting in greater confidence and a feeling of personal empowerment. This is the basis of effective self defence.
Jow explained that the course had such a deep impact on him that he walked into his office on Monday morning a different person, different to the person who left on Friday night. He took immedite action on the issue of his tormentor. He had a meeting with his boss where he confidently explained what was happening and what the options were for them. His boss has now taken the matter seriously and is standing behind Joe with the support and action required.
He then met with the man who has been causing the issues. Joe told me that he would NEVER have been able to have the conversation, with the degree of confidence and certainty, prior to the course. He addressed the issue in a non-challenging, non-threatening way, but with a confidence and focus that left his prior aggressor under no illusions of his options. He also did it in such a way as to let the man save face and have a 'way out' (which we teach), and the man took it. He has gained an apology and the past week has been a different experience for him when he arrives at work. In his words: " The weight is off my shoulders and I am actually enjoying going to work again"
How did this take place? Because self defence (real Self Defence) training empowers you with a confidence and belief system which all on it's own makes you a 'hard target' for aggressor's, it grows you as a person from your core.
Emerson once said: "Who you are screams so loudly in my ears that I can not hear what you are saying"
Joe told me that he originally attended our course (thinking like most people that self defence is all about martial arts and/or solely physical moves, which it is not) to learn to physically protect himself becasue he expected the situation to get so bad that he would be assaulted physically. He said that what he gained was infinitely more, it made him a strong person, with the confidence to stand up for himself and the skills to do it in a way which made the situation better and not worse.
I acknowledge Joe for realising the need to imporove his situation, for attending the course, for taking the action, and for sharing his story with me.
This is what self defence at Protect is all about.
Yesterday I received an email from a man who attended one of our recent 'Best Defence (phase 1)' courses, I'll call him Joe, which is not his real name. He explained how he had been the target of a 'workplace bully' for the past year. He had bought the issue up to management only to have it 'played down' and to a large degree, dismissed. It has caused him huge stress and affected his home life and his health. He told me that he has been looking for another job unsuccessfully, and that the sole reason for him wanting to leave his employer of six years (at a job that he otherwise loves) was because of this person.
At 'Best Defence' (as with all of our core courses) we address the behvioural and psychological aspects of self defence as well as the physical. Because of the way we train attendees there is an immediate shift in belief systems, resulting in greater confidence and a feeling of personal empowerment. This is the basis of effective self defence.
Jow explained that the course had such a deep impact on him that he walked into his office on Monday morning a different person, different to the person who left on Friday night. He took immedite action on the issue of his tormentor. He had a meeting with his boss where he confidently explained what was happening and what the options were for them. His boss has now taken the matter seriously and is standing behind Joe with the support and action required.
He then met with the man who has been causing the issues. Joe told me that he would NEVER have been able to have the conversation, with the degree of confidence and certainty, prior to the course. He addressed the issue in a non-challenging, non-threatening way, but with a confidence and focus that left his prior aggressor under no illusions of his options. He also did it in such a way as to let the man save face and have a 'way out' (which we teach), and the man took it. He has gained an apology and the past week has been a different experience for him when he arrives at work. In his words: " The weight is off my shoulders and I am actually enjoying going to work again"
How did this take place? Because self defence (real Self Defence) training empowers you with a confidence and belief system which all on it's own makes you a 'hard target' for aggressor's, it grows you as a person from your core.
Emerson once said: "Who you are screams so loudly in my ears that I can not hear what you are saying"
Joe told me that he originally attended our course (thinking like most people that self defence is all about martial arts and/or solely physical moves, which it is not) to learn to physically protect himself becasue he expected the situation to get so bad that he would be assaulted physically. He said that what he gained was infinitely more, it made him a strong person, with the confidence to stand up for himself and the skills to do it in a way which made the situation better and not worse.
I acknowledge Joe for realising the need to imporove his situation, for attending the course, for taking the action, and for sharing his story with me.
This is what self defence at Protect is all about.
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