"Time to put the punch in its place" - TKD Talk article June 2013

 

Below is an article by Phil Thompson which appeared in the latest TKD Talk magazine. :-)

 

 

New Accredited Trainers in the South Island!

A HUGE welcome to the new Protect Accredited Trainers from Nelson and Christchurch!

From left: Aaron Williams (Nelson ITF), Craig Oliver (Pulse Taekwon-Do), Angela Oliver (Pulse Taekwon-Do), Luke Jackson (Pulse Taekwon-Do), Kris Herbison (Riccarton Taekwon-Do), Tomonori Shibata (Riccarton Taekwon-Do), Damon Stewart (Pulse Taekwon-Do).

Welcome to the program team!

For ful list of Accredited Trainers in NZ go the the Protect Group Classes website HERE

Crush 'em Kids - Blitz Magazine Article

"Bullying" Great lessons in here...

This is worth watching, some good lessons in here:

Teens share bullying tales in video booth

This stood out to me (from Debra Pepler, a psychology professor at Toronto’s York University):

"The children who can stand up and be assertive are able to control themselves, and they have a bit more ability to cope,"

This is the exact ability (among others) that our courses, classes and training provides...

Darcy's Column: "Going Training"

How many of us invest in some self defence training for ourselves and our families? Perhaps not many – it doesn’t (yet) seem as mainstream as getting your first aid certificate. Consider that violence is like car accidents: totally unplanned events, can have devastating consequences and affects most of us at some stage in our lives.

Proper training doesn’t need to take months or weeks. You can have extremely effective training within a full day, as long as you know what to look for, so let me provide you with some tips.

Most importantly, a self defence course should be about lifting your belief system – an event where you discover and prove to yourself what you are capable of. Ask the provider how their training will definitely lift your capability. Ask also what the training covers. Proper training will cover all the elements of self defence: Avoidance, Defusion, Physical response and Post event issues including the law.

Though the training has to be “real” that doesn’t mean forsaking safety, both physically and emotionally. You have to be assured that you will be safe and have full control while you are training.

Ask about the types of physical techniques taught. Techniques which are so complicated that can’t be remembered in a week are useless. I’d have serious doubts if words such as: Wrist/arm locks, blocks, pressure points and throws were used to describe the techniques.

Importantly, do some research on the Instructor. Try to determine that they will be someone who’ll make it a great days training for you.

Darcy Mellsop

Protect Self Defence NZ

Column 41 – "Reading violence"

Self defence is about being able to interpret, understand and protect ourselves from violence.

For too many, violence is used as their medium of communication. Like not being able to speak French we'd struggle in France; not understanding violence means that we'd miss vital pre-incident indicators that are present in all situations that lead to physical violence. Only when we understand violence can we see and comprehend the early warning signs.

You can detect what you have been trained to see. It's about knowing what is about to happen and being able to pre-empt it. Anyone can learn this language. Knowing it doesn't make you more violent. Without knowing how to interpret violence and the pre-cursors of violence, we can't accurately predict intentions of predators, which means that we can't act appropriately to stop it, either with the appropriate verbal or physical response.

So let me give you some insight now. If a predator is trying to change the environment: coerce you to go somewhere, physically drag you somewhere, or establish privacy such as shutting your curtains, these acts provide massive insight into their intentions. What is their intent? To take material items from you or is it to do with your being, such as physical or sexual assault? It's far likely to be the latter. When you can detect intent (prior to the physical violence) would that fuel your response? Of course. A honed response helps, blanket hope counts for nothing. This is just one aspect, but: never ever let the environment change.


Darcy Mellsop
Protect Self Defence NZ

Hello. Remember the first day we met?

This is a post for the ladies. It is not designed as a scare tactic, instead it is designed to inspire thought on many different behavioural aspects of predatory behaviour...
From 'Safe For Life'...

Hello.

Remember the first day we met?

I do. I knew we were meant to be together from the moment I layed eyes on you.

The world has become quite small since we’ve met. By sheer luck we had shared one friend and now I share most of your friends and know quite a few family members too. I know your family secrets, pets, habits and fears. You’ve come to depend on me. I listen to you. I sympathize with you when your heart is broken.

I make you laugh when I see you’re about to cry. You’ve come to depend on me. I do favors for you and soon you will be doing favors for me. You owe me. I spend most of my time thinking of you and seeing to your every need. One day it will be my turn. You better be ready. I haven’t done all this for nothing you know. I could go elsewhere but I’ve chosen you. You were nothing before me and have grown into a better person because of me. But you already know that don’t you?

I see the way you’ve been looking at me lately. You’ve been teasing me with those long looks of yours. I see through your facade of playing hard to get. You want me so bad it almost makes you look cheap the way you throw yourself at my feet. I know your little jealousy game. You’re such a child. You think I don’t see through you. I know you want to make me jealous when you speak with those other men whom you call co-workers and friends. It’s not working. You merely look like a stupid little schoolgirl.

You deserve to be treated as such. You’re a slut. A schoolgirl slut who deserves what she’s gonna get coming to her!


Actions speak louder than words.

Listen to your intuition; it is in direct result to something, which you may or may not be consciously aware of in the moment...

'Every Woman's guide to Being Safe...For Life' available at Whitcoulls or Amazon.com

Latest Column from Darcy Mellsop - "See no evil"

"See no evil"

I was recently reading about Piha residents who have launched a campaign to remove a convicted child sex offender from their midst.

It reminded me of the same sort of incident in Kapiti recently where it was discovered that a convicted sex offender was living close to a school. I contacted the school to offer a session for the parents on what we could do to keep our kids safe, but it didn’t happen because the sex offender moved on. I didn’t contact the school for that one sex offender, I contacted the school about all the sex offenders that potentially lived near by. Commonly it’s the case of, if the known offender has moved, it’s all safe now. Those in the know, know that it’s not the case at all. There is some saying about an ostrich having its head in the sand, but I can’t remember it right now, but I’m sure you know it.

I could spend hours writing this column, but it’s important that I make this point.

I know that to many that this might sound like I’m trying to sell courses, but it’s actually about Avoidance. The key to Avoidance is consciously recognising a threat and taking effect action to avoid it.

Obviously, denial is not an effective strategy – though a much chosen strategy. It’s very quick and very easy. Job done.

Thinking that we are safe when the sex offender moves on is denial. You know the saying “I’ll believe it when I see it” well, when it comes to the protection of our kids, when it’s about things we wouldn’t do ourselves and therefore aren’t familiar with the strategies of sex offenders, it’s more like “I’ll see it when I believe it”. When you and your kids know what to look for, then you have a better chance of seeing it if it is present.

We know that we might be in a car accident, so we put on our seatbelts. Because we know that it’s possible to be in a car accident, we see things on the road that worry us – people cutting through late orange or red lights, not following the road code when giving way, aggressive drivers, those that follow to close behind, and so on. We see these threats as we know, we clearly know that they elevate the chance of a very real accident happening. That’s not denial. Also, knowing this doesn’t stop us from driving. But our acceptance of the possibility means that we can change the balance of possibility of being involved in an accident. We see a threat, and usually give a very wide berth.

Alternatively being completely unaware increases the likelihood of being in an accident – or even causing one and not knowing it.

So let’s use our energy correctly. Let’s be real so we can see reality. Let’s appreciate that most people are good, but there are many (plural) around that are dangerous.

Do not confuse the energy used to chase out of town a single convicted sex offender with the energy that is used to arm our kids with the tools to indentify when they are being scoped by any sex offender. Those energies are mutually exclusive – the former deals with perhaps an element – if they are not reformed, the latter focuses on the reality – those not yet caught.

Latest Article from Darcy Mellsop - "Spiders and stuff"

"Spiders and stuff"

If a spider builds a web, and it’s not catching any bugs, the spider basically has two choices: Do nothing and learn to survive on nothing or; rebuild its web in another place.

I was talking with a friend recently, and we were talking about Avoidance and he put it to me that Avoidance is pretty common sense really, just don’t do stuff like walk down dark alleys. But is it really that simple? I mean, we know this already, and most act on this advice, but there is still a heck of a lot of violence about, so what’s going on?

If you are the bad guy waiting in the dark alley, and you are getting bored waiting as everyone is heeding the advice not to venture there, are you going to remain there or go hunting? And if you are hunting in a different environment, such as bars, clubs and streets – generally where people
are, would you use the same strategies as you would have used in the colloquial dark alley, or do the strategies change and adapt to the environment?

We know that they change. Yes, we can change the balance of probability of being in locations safer than others, but predators do roam and scope. Predators have many skills, which they train and honed, especially verbal skills such as the manipulation strategies I’ve exposed in previous columns.

Understand this, predators aren’t all around us, generally good people are - but predators are everywhere. Scoping and evaluating. Good Avoidance stems from acknowledging this.

"Let’s talk about violence" - Latest column by Darcy Mellsop

Let’s talk about violence.

I wonder if we talk enough about violence. I wonder why it isn’t main-stream conversation. We talk about other things prevalent in our society which affect us. We talk about sport, sex, politics, travel, our work, but not violence anywhere to the same degree.

When we do talk about violence, it’s usually to cover 3 things: justice (because we’ve read about something horrible that’s recently happened), what that person should have done to stop it from happening to them and what we might have done.

Is this enough to provide us valuable insight? Or are we simply picking over the bones of something that doesn’t offer us much value – talking about stuff that’s happened is reactive, we are really focusing on aftermath and also, it’s depressing stuff.

I think that we don’t have enough conversations that lead to us educating each other. Ok, so what’s the plan? Let’s share information. When we are talking about violence, talk about what we know. Talk about the things that some guy did that made us feel uncomfortable during the date and why we are not going to go out with him again. Or the time that our ego got in control of us and started to escalate a road rage incident. Challenge and discuss what you and others understand about keeping ourselves safe. Challenge, think and discuss lots. Simple. Because knowing violence, and knowing the early signs of violence, is extremely effective in reducing the balance of probability of being involved in violence.

7 year old girl fights off attacker! Great job!

Great work by this girl! Listen to the last thing she says... "My school taught me...etc" She did what she was taught and it saved her. Yet still we have to BATTLE to get our education into schools or to get many parents to invest in their children's safety. Apathy and denial are the biggest threat to our kids...Check this great job out:

http://video.foxnews.com/v/1442200775001/

and here's the link to Whitcoulls online for our book 'Empower Your Kids to be Safe...For Life'. CLICK HERE

Who are you? - Brilliant campaign!

This campaign is AWESOME! I love it to bits! Folks, this is worth checking out, sharing, and supporting. Just the video on the front page is highly valuable (8 minutes of your life to watch it, good investment)! Protect stand right behind this campaign, brilliant.

http://www.whoareyou.co.nz/

We had a perfect example of this shared with us at training last night by two of our Auckland group class members (husband and wife).

They were at a campground with a large group for the weekend. They observed concerning behaviour (based on what they have trained to look for) by a male who was using behavioural manipulation strategies on a female (friend of a friend). He was 'feeding her' alcohol and using many of the survival signs that we teach to look out for. This went un-noticed by all of the others, simply because they were not trained to see it.

When he went for the final move, which was to move her to an isolated space (in this case the beach) where he had privacy and control, our team (who had been watching her and him like a hawk) intervened and prevented what was absolutely going to become a very bad situation.

Brilliant work on their behalf and she thanked them the next day. I am very proud of what they did, they saved someone from a lot of hurt. They thanked US at class for teaching them what to look out for, but it is THEM who should be thanked for taking action. But no-one else saw it...

This campaign is a step in the right direction to changing that folks. Please share it.

Latest Column from Darcy Mellsop

Since my last column, I’ve read about further attacks. One victim being a young lady
putting out the rubbish late at night in Newtown, Wellington. She commented "...If anything it's a warning to young girls: Don't go out alone in the dark at all."
We all know that the rules change when night comes. Things are different, and with the darkness, there is a natural fear that goes with it. Of course, I’m not going to argue for a moment that this fear is misplaced – for it is not. I, as we all do, know that it is not misplaced.
But let me ask, do we live in more fear than we should? And if so, what can we do about this? Obviously simply thinking “I won’t fear it any more” won’t work, as that is not a corrective action, it has no real benefit.
So what can we do about this? I’ve a saying that I use to challenge myself when I need to: Run into the darkness. What does that mean? Imagine standing in a silky green field, grass glimmering in the sun, and a warm breeze is the foundation for all your senses being so awake. But next to you just away from you - flat and straight cutting a straight edge across the grassy plain is a forest, dark and twisted and cold - in there only hate and fear and suffering.
So you think that you won't go in there, but guess what, look where you are standing and what you are experiencing. You are experiencing those feelings and you are not in the forest. So really, where does the forest end and your fears start? Not at the edge. No. Where you are now. The only way to truly subside fear is to face up to it. This can free us from a world of fear – how often do
we spend so much time fearing something that doesn’t happen? And if it does happen, we know that we’ll freeze because we don’t have the tools to deal with it - which is the likely reason why we fear it in the first place. Freeing ourselves from fear, gives us confidence. Exuding confidence, importantly, reduces the likelihood that we will be the targets of street violence – it reduces the balance of probability. Sounds good right? You have to be prepared to venture into the forest.
Whatever your fear is, whether it is to do with personal safety for yourself or family or something else, do something about it: run into the darkness.
Hey, if someone wants to bowl some cricket balls at me, please contact me, I’m scared silly of cricket balls and it would be good to get that sorted. The faster the bowler the better. Thanks.

Latest Column from Darcy: 'Random attacks'

Over the summer break, there have been two high profile attacks that have been referred as random by some media - and that seriously troubles me. These attacks were the murder of Phil Cottrell in Wellington city and the violent sexual attack on a young girl who was touring with her family from Belgium.

What troubles me is this: that the often used term “random” gives many the impression that these attacks could not have been predicted which is not entirely correct.
These attacks were not completely random: Both the attackers of Phil Cottrell and the young girl had a propensity to commit these crimes, which is plainly obvious. This propensity isn’t a fleeting and random thing. If you had seen the things that these attackers have done in their lives and the continual increase in severity of these things, you too might have predicted these crimes happening. Indeed, perhaps some had.

These attacks were literally inevitable. Even the choosing of who might be the potential victim might feel random to us, but it isn’t to the attacker. The attacker will choose, and test, who they feel will be a suitable victim. So really, what aspect is left that make these attacks random?

I’ve raised a number of points which merit more discussion, but the main point is this: Do not think that there is nothing you can do to prevent these attacks because they are purely random. They are not.

Aucklanders...Check out the info below (copied from my email) on GPP (General Physical Preparedness). This is some of the best training I have ever done and I highly recommend the training as well as the trainers! Give it a go, it is seriously awesome... Phil

Thank you for your interest in our upcoming GPP (General Physical Preparation) Intro Course!

If you are receiving this email it is because either you or someone who cares a lot about you has recommended you join us for the upcoming 4 week intro course. (Feel free to forward the
info onto friends if you think they may be interested -we only advertise through word of mouth - first come first served). GPP is a great way to improve your overall physical condition, including the 10 components of fitness (see pic attached!). You will learn all the fundamental movements of GPP (based on a combination of kettlebell, dumbbell, medicine ball and bodyweight training, Olympic weightlifting, gymnastics and more!) in small groups with your own specialist coach - much like a PT session but with the fun of having others along to motivate you and inspire you. Our Dec '11 intro program was a great success with literally everyone improving on their baseline
fitness scores and alongside the Nutrition Challenge many participants gained significant amounts of lean muscle mass, lost body fat and made massive improvements in their general well being.

Next Intro Course:
4 weeks (8 sessions) starting January 17th & 18th

Session Days & Times:
Morning option: Tuesday & Thursday 7-8am
Afternoon option: Wednesday & Friday 5.30-6.30pm

Coach
Mr. Jeremy Hanna
3rd Degree in Taekwon-Do, Current World Champion and Level 1 Crossfit Certified Coach

Cost
$120 ($15 per session)

What to Expect
-8 fun and diverse sessions covering all basic GPP movements
-Each session includes a warm-up, technical portion and challenging workout of the day (WOD)
-These sessions will give you the confidence to join in regular classes and or safely exercise on your own with sound technique
-Baseline fitness testing (guaranteed results or your money back if you attend all 8 sessions!)
-Nutritional advice & support
-Weekly emails from Coach Jeremy with your results, photos, advice and motivation to keep you on track and learning as much as possible
-Access to the members only section of the website where we post workouts, photos and results

What next?!
To confirm your interest - please make an appointment to register in person at the Warrior Training Zone, 198 Marua Rd, prior to the start of the course.
You will need to complete a quick registration form and answer some questions so that we know that it is safe for you to exercise (ie any history of prior injuries that we should be aware of). We will take a photo of you for your membership card and process payment - eftpos, cash, cheque, bank transfer all accepted.

If you have any questions about the program or registration, please do not hesitate to contact me. Usually email or text (021 992 777) are best and I will get back to you as soon as possible! If you have questions about the course content, you are welcome to contact Coach Jeremy directly at: jeremydhanna@gmail.com

We look forward to having you with us and introducing you to the amazing results and benefits we have experienced ourselves and know you will too!

Carolina Dillen BSc (Hons)

http://www.wtkd.co.nz/

Protect supporting Young Mum's program

Protect have been honoured to support Te Waipuna Puawai with their 'Young Mum's' program in Auckland this year providing services under our Community Support Program. It was awesome to receive this Christmas card from the team!

Women's Empowerment & Safety Seminar in RPE newsletter

'Self Defense vs Self Worth'...A Protect Team Member's Perspective

I've been coming along to Phil Thompson’s peace and harmony sessions (AKA "Protect Group Classes" - Phil) for about 3 years now and I’m finding its changing me in interesting ways. Let me explain….. It’s a bit of a journey but bear with me. The perspective might surprise you.

Recently my wife, my 18 month old boy and I were in our people-mover heading
down the southern motorway. I usually travel in the middle lane, today there
was someone in the middle lane doing about 70 kmph, I moved into the far right
lane (aka the fast lane, never made sense to me the limit is still 100 right?).
I moved into the right hand lane and could see a ute coming up behind me very
fast, a big shiny black V8 ute in a big hurry.

I must have been out in the fast lane for 10 seconds doing about 100 kmph, and the ute
was on me, I think maybe 2 meters off my rear bumper. It’s a strange reality,
it’s a bit like it’s all hardly moving, because you're all moving at the same
speed. But imagine if something goes wrong, imagine the tearing, ripping sound
as we all slow down to zero in an instant. So there I am, the guy in the ute
pulls into the middle lane and then passes me. When he’s gone past he pulls
hard right, so hard my wife actually yelped (not a term I'd normally
use!!). As he pulled back into the right hand lane he cut me off so hard that
his rear bumper was perhaps 50cm from my front bumper.

So, what now? This was really threatening; in fact it was life threatening for
my entire family. So what now?

Roll forward about 2 weeks, I'm sitting in a friends lounge recounting all
this. I make the point, “ what am I supposed to do, have some kind of suicidal
western style duel at 100kmph on the southern motorway”. Now my friend has heard
me spout the “hoiler than thou” doctrine for years” and he calls me out in the
best fashion.

“But you can’t keep doing that right? You can’t keep just letting people walk
over you with no comeback, you’ve got to stand up for yourself right?”. “So that
guy has forgotten about you as just another twat to shunt out of the way, but
it’s weeks later and your still thinking about it” so somehow he won, I mean,
your still dealing with it, he’s not”.

Well, those comments really made me think about this. But then I realized
something really important, it’s me talking about this to my friends, my
family, my close friends at Protect that is the positive outlet. When my friend
Jim asked, “So aren’t you just bottling this up”. My answer is “yes, kind of".
It all becomes part of the case study….. Part of the testimony that protects me,
my friends, my training partners.

Because I can tell them there is a way to express this without risking life and limb, there is a way to make this a positive outcome. It’s a way that certainly makes my world a lot safer, teaches my little boy how to behave (i.e not like a baboon). It's very cathartic, sure I will chew on these experiences, mull them over, but they are infact a positive, an opportunity to learn about myself. And finally I’m really at a point where I trust myself to make good decisions, that’s a
great outcome!

Workplace 'Bully' loses his advantage! (repost)

This is a re-post of an earlier blog as this issue has just come to light again...

At Protect we don't use the term 'bullying' for any situations involving anyone older than around 10 years. After that age we call it what it really is: 'Peer Aggression'.

By giving the issue the mantle that it deserves people tend to take the issue more seriously, and it is a serious issue. It causes loss of confidence, self esteem, and self belief, it has caused suicides, murders, assaults, and substance abuse, broken up families and ruined countless people's lives.

It is not an issue that should be tolerated, either at school, the workplace or in any other facet of life.

Yesterday I received an email from a man who attended one of our recent 'Best Defence (phase 1)' courses, I'll call him Joe, which is not his real name. He explained how he had been the target of a 'workplace bully' for the past year. He had bought the issue up to management only to have it 'played down' and to a large degree, dismissed. It has caused him huge stress and affected his home life and his health. He told me that he has been looking for another job unsuccessfully, and that the sole reason for him wanting to leave his employer of six years (at a job that he otherwise loves) was because of this person.

At 'Best Defence' (as with all of our core courses) we address the behvioural and psychological aspects of self defence as well as the physical. Because of the way we train attendees there is an immediate shift in belief systems, resulting in greater confidence and a feeling of personal empowerment. This is the basis of effective self defence.Jow explained that the course had such a deep impact on him that he walked into his office on Monday morning a different person, different to the person who left on Friday night. He took immedite action on the issue of his tormentor. He had a meeting with his boss where he confidently explained what was happening and what the options were for them. His boss has now taken the matter seriously and is standing behind Joe with the support and action required.He then met with the man who has been causing the issues. Joe told me that he would NEVER have been able to have the conversation, with the degree of confidence and certainty, prior to the course. He addressed the issue in a non-challenging, non-threatening way, but with a confidence and focus that left his prior aggressor under no illusions of his options. He also did it in such a way as to let the man save face and have a 'way out' (which we teach), and the man took it. He has gained an apology and the past week has been a different experience for him when he arrives at work. In his words: " The weight is off my shoulders and I am actually enjoying going to work again."

How did this take place? Because self defence (real Self Defence) training empowers you with a confidence and belief system which all on it's own makes you a 'hard target' for aggressor's, it grows you as a person from your core.

Emerson once said: "Who you are screams so loudly in my ears that I can not hear what you are saying"

Joe told me that he originally attended our course (thinking like most people that self defence is all about martial arts and/or solely physical moves, which it is not) to learn to physically protect himself becasue he expected the situation to get so bad that he would be assaulted physically. He said that what he gained was infinitely more, it made him a strong person, with the confidence to stand up for himself and the skills to do it in a way which made the situation better and not worse.

I acknowledge Joe for realising the need to imporove his situation, for attending the course, for taking the action, and for sharing his story with me.This is what self defence at Protect is all about.

Protect assisting Youthline

Protect Self Defence NZ are very proud to be partnering and sponsoring YouthLine in a new inititive to build a $3million Youth and Community Development Centre in South Auckland. This will make a significant difference to the South Auckland community! Very cool.