With friends like those...

There is currently an ad campaign in New Zealand for the Alcohol Advisory Council called ‘ease up on the drink’. Here is one of the ads:



The reason I really liked this is because, looked at from a self defence (defence against others, rather than ourselves in this case) perspective it highlights an important consideration in the avoidance stage of self protection; that is knowing how your friends/spouse conduct themselves when out, particularly when alcohol is involved.

I have a friend who is a really good guy, and would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. But when we used to go out, as soon as he had a bit of alcohol in him, he would change. In keeping the theme of the ALACNZ ad, he would become:

“Stare everyone down, friend”
“Shoulder barge random people looking for a fight, friend”
“Mr no-shirt, invincible, friend”
“Hit on everyone’s girlfriend, friend”
“Break bottles, and anything else he could, friend”
“Get himself, and everyone else with him in trouble and ruin their night, friend”

I liked the ad because it encourages open communication, which is what I had to do with my mate. I told him it was not on and unless he changed the way he behaved, I no longer wanted to go out with him. I told him that I am not willing to be put into a fight and risk my safety, my life, my family’s happiness, or my freedom because he became a clown when he drinks too much. As it turned out, nothing changed so I don’t go out with him anymore , I refuse to be put in that situation. That is the first stage of self defence - avoidance through awareness and intuition - in action.
Understanding third party interference/influence is a part of the avoidance stage of self protection. My advice is that if you have mates who behave like this, have a hard word with them. If they refuse to change, stop going out with them in those environments. It may seem harsh, but a good mate will not knowingly put you in danger.

Food for thought anyway...