"Time to put the punch in its place" - TKD Talk article June 2013

 

Below is an article by Phil Thompson which appeared in the latest TKD Talk magazine. :-)

 

 

Crush 'em Kids - Blitz Magazine Article

Aucklanders...Check out the info below (copied from my email) on GPP (General Physical Preparedness). This is some of the best training I have ever done and I highly recommend the training as well as the trainers! Give it a go, it is seriously awesome... Phil

Thank you for your interest in our upcoming GPP (General Physical Preparation) Intro Course!

If you are receiving this email it is because either you or someone who cares a lot about you has recommended you join us for the upcoming 4 week intro course. (Feel free to forward the
info onto friends if you think they may be interested -we only advertise through word of mouth - first come first served). GPP is a great way to improve your overall physical condition, including the 10 components of fitness (see pic attached!). You will learn all the fundamental movements of GPP (based on a combination of kettlebell, dumbbell, medicine ball and bodyweight training, Olympic weightlifting, gymnastics and more!) in small groups with your own specialist coach - much like a PT session but with the fun of having others along to motivate you and inspire you. Our Dec '11 intro program was a great success with literally everyone improving on their baseline
fitness scores and alongside the Nutrition Challenge many participants gained significant amounts of lean muscle mass, lost body fat and made massive improvements in their general well being.

Next Intro Course:
4 weeks (8 sessions) starting January 17th & 18th

Session Days & Times:
Morning option: Tuesday & Thursday 7-8am
Afternoon option: Wednesday & Friday 5.30-6.30pm

Coach
Mr. Jeremy Hanna
3rd Degree in Taekwon-Do, Current World Champion and Level 1 Crossfit Certified Coach

Cost
$120 ($15 per session)

What to Expect
-8 fun and diverse sessions covering all basic GPP movements
-Each session includes a warm-up, technical portion and challenging workout of the day (WOD)
-These sessions will give you the confidence to join in regular classes and or safely exercise on your own with sound technique
-Baseline fitness testing (guaranteed results or your money back if you attend all 8 sessions!)
-Nutritional advice & support
-Weekly emails from Coach Jeremy with your results, photos, advice and motivation to keep you on track and learning as much as possible
-Access to the members only section of the website where we post workouts, photos and results

What next?!
To confirm your interest - please make an appointment to register in person at the Warrior Training Zone, 198 Marua Rd, prior to the start of the course.
You will need to complete a quick registration form and answer some questions so that we know that it is safe for you to exercise (ie any history of prior injuries that we should be aware of). We will take a photo of you for your membership card and process payment - eftpos, cash, cheque, bank transfer all accepted.

If you have any questions about the program or registration, please do not hesitate to contact me. Usually email or text (021 992 777) are best and I will get back to you as soon as possible! If you have questions about the course content, you are welcome to contact Coach Jeremy directly at: jeremydhanna@gmail.com

We look forward to having you with us and introducing you to the amazing results and benefits we have experienced ourselves and know you will too!

Carolina Dillen BSc (Hons)

http://www.wtkd.co.nz/

Protect supporting Young Mum's program

Protect have been honoured to support Te Waipuna Puawai with their 'Young Mum's' program in Auckland this year providing services under our Community Support Program. It was awesome to receive this Christmas card from the team!

'Self Defense vs Self Worth'...A Protect Team Member's Perspective

I've been coming along to Phil Thompson’s peace and harmony sessions (AKA "Protect Group Classes" - Phil) for about 3 years now and I’m finding its changing me in interesting ways. Let me explain….. It’s a bit of a journey but bear with me. The perspective might surprise you.

Recently my wife, my 18 month old boy and I were in our people-mover heading
down the southern motorway. I usually travel in the middle lane, today there
was someone in the middle lane doing about 70 kmph, I moved into the far right
lane (aka the fast lane, never made sense to me the limit is still 100 right?).
I moved into the right hand lane and could see a ute coming up behind me very
fast, a big shiny black V8 ute in a big hurry.

I must have been out in the fast lane for 10 seconds doing about 100 kmph, and the ute
was on me, I think maybe 2 meters off my rear bumper. It’s a strange reality,
it’s a bit like it’s all hardly moving, because you're all moving at the same
speed. But imagine if something goes wrong, imagine the tearing, ripping sound
as we all slow down to zero in an instant. So there I am, the guy in the ute
pulls into the middle lane and then passes me. When he’s gone past he pulls
hard right, so hard my wife actually yelped (not a term I'd normally
use!!). As he pulled back into the right hand lane he cut me off so hard that
his rear bumper was perhaps 50cm from my front bumper.

So, what now? This was really threatening; in fact it was life threatening for
my entire family. So what now?

Roll forward about 2 weeks, I'm sitting in a friends lounge recounting all
this. I make the point, “ what am I supposed to do, have some kind of suicidal
western style duel at 100kmph on the southern motorway”. Now my friend has heard
me spout the “hoiler than thou” doctrine for years” and he calls me out in the
best fashion.

“But you can’t keep doing that right? You can’t keep just letting people walk
over you with no comeback, you’ve got to stand up for yourself right?”. “So that
guy has forgotten about you as just another twat to shunt out of the way, but
it’s weeks later and your still thinking about it” so somehow he won, I mean,
your still dealing with it, he’s not”.

Well, those comments really made me think about this. But then I realized
something really important, it’s me talking about this to my friends, my
family, my close friends at Protect that is the positive outlet. When my friend
Jim asked, “So aren’t you just bottling this up”. My answer is “yes, kind of".
It all becomes part of the case study….. Part of the testimony that protects me,
my friends, my training partners.

Because I can tell them there is a way to express this without risking life and limb, there is a way to make this a positive outcome. It’s a way that certainly makes my world a lot safer, teaches my little boy how to behave (i.e not like a baboon). It's very cathartic, sure I will chew on these experiences, mull them over, but they are infact a positive, an opportunity to learn about myself. And finally I’m really at a point where I trust myself to make good decisions, that’s a
great outcome!

Workplace 'Bully' loses his advantage! (repost)

This is a re-post of an earlier blog as this issue has just come to light again...

At Protect we don't use the term 'bullying' for any situations involving anyone older than around 10 years. After that age we call it what it really is: 'Peer Aggression'.

By giving the issue the mantle that it deserves people tend to take the issue more seriously, and it is a serious issue. It causes loss of confidence, self esteem, and self belief, it has caused suicides, murders, assaults, and substance abuse, broken up families and ruined countless people's lives.

It is not an issue that should be tolerated, either at school, the workplace or in any other facet of life.

Yesterday I received an email from a man who attended one of our recent 'Best Defence (phase 1)' courses, I'll call him Joe, which is not his real name. He explained how he had been the target of a 'workplace bully' for the past year. He had bought the issue up to management only to have it 'played down' and to a large degree, dismissed. It has caused him huge stress and affected his home life and his health. He told me that he has been looking for another job unsuccessfully, and that the sole reason for him wanting to leave his employer of six years (at a job that he otherwise loves) was because of this person.

At 'Best Defence' (as with all of our core courses) we address the behvioural and psychological aspects of self defence as well as the physical. Because of the way we train attendees there is an immediate shift in belief systems, resulting in greater confidence and a feeling of personal empowerment. This is the basis of effective self defence.Jow explained that the course had such a deep impact on him that he walked into his office on Monday morning a different person, different to the person who left on Friday night. He took immedite action on the issue of his tormentor. He had a meeting with his boss where he confidently explained what was happening and what the options were for them. His boss has now taken the matter seriously and is standing behind Joe with the support and action required.He then met with the man who has been causing the issues. Joe told me that he would NEVER have been able to have the conversation, with the degree of confidence and certainty, prior to the course. He addressed the issue in a non-challenging, non-threatening way, but with a confidence and focus that left his prior aggressor under no illusions of his options. He also did it in such a way as to let the man save face and have a 'way out' (which we teach), and the man took it. He has gained an apology and the past week has been a different experience for him when he arrives at work. In his words: " The weight is off my shoulders and I am actually enjoying going to work again."

How did this take place? Because self defence (real Self Defence) training empowers you with a confidence and belief system which all on it's own makes you a 'hard target' for aggressor's, it grows you as a person from your core.

Emerson once said: "Who you are screams so loudly in my ears that I can not hear what you are saying"

Joe told me that he originally attended our course (thinking like most people that self defence is all about martial arts and/or solely physical moves, which it is not) to learn to physically protect himself becasue he expected the situation to get so bad that he would be assaulted physically. He said that what he gained was infinitely more, it made him a strong person, with the confidence to stand up for himself and the skills to do it in a way which made the situation better and not worse.

I acknowledge Joe for realising the need to imporove his situation, for attending the course, for taking the action, and for sharing his story with me.This is what self defence at Protect is all about.

Protect assisting Youthline

Protect Self Defence NZ are very proud to be partnering and sponsoring YouthLine in a new inititive to build a $3million Youth and Community Development Centre in South Auckland. This will make a significant difference to the South Auckland community! Very cool.

Rape Prevention Education

We have had amazing feedback from the attendees of the 'Women's Personal Safety' seminar in Auckland! As well as sharing valuable information, we also raised much needed funds for RPE! Excellent result all round, and we would like to thank everyone who helped make it happen, especially Chris Mitch and the teams at PropertyTutors and OBD design. You guys all rock!
Phil

"Breaking The News" Latest article from Darcy

Knives in schools...

The October 16th edition of the Herald On Sunday (pg 16) featured an article titled ‘Armed in The Classroom”. The front page teaser for the article read “Knives in schools. The statistics that will shock you”

Well, the statistics did not shock me. They didn't even surprise me.

The original article and link to the original is below this blog.

You can read the statistics for yourself and yes, they are not good. They also don't paint an accurate picture of the scale of the problem. I know this because I work with and around violence every day. I have worked in schools ranging from low decile to decile 10. And this problem is a serious one. Of course we could look at the all of the underlying factors here, the issues that cause the violence which is now more and more frequently involving weapons, but I have commented, discussed and written about this before so I want to keep this to the specific subject of weapons in schools.

Last year I was working with a group of year 12 boys in a decile 10 school. The subject of knives came up and I asked them “how many people in here know someone at this school who has bought a knife to school, either yourself or someone else, recently?” There were 27 students in the class, eight raised their hand.

I asked them why they thought “these people” (I knew I was talking directly to some of them) bought weapons to school. The most common answer was ‘Self Defence’. Other answers included “to look tough”, “because they’re marked” etc…

This prompted me to have a very frank and blunt discussion with them about what they ‘thought’ constituted self defence and where knives fall into that equation, the true consequences of the action of carrying a weapon (legal, moral, ethical, emotional, financial, scholarly, career, family), and a look at the real risks associated with this practise vs the perceived gains. The discussion had a profound effect on them with a unanimous agreement that it was a very bad idea. I have worked with students long enough to know when they are saying something simply to placate me and when they genuinely ‘get it’, and this was a situation where they genuinely ‘got it’.

Several of the students made comments along the lines of “nobody has ever made me think of it like that before”, "You (meaning them) just do it because others do it but no-one really makes you think about what could happen” etc…

The HOD for the school, who was sitting in attendance for the session made the comment to me afterwards that this was so valuable because I was able to have a discussion with the kids “that the teachers can’t have and that they don’t get at home from dad”. It had a huge impact on this group and has on several other’s since, but that is just the tip of the iceberg.

One such talk resulted in a student approaching me after the session and handing me a makeshift knife. He told me “Thank you sir, I won’t need this anymore” . That is a big impact.

The issues of teachers being able to search students is one thing, but how about fixing the underlying issues? What our organisation does is only a piece of that puzzle I know, and many schools are doing their best to work on many of the issues, but what we can do is make the kids understand the real consequences. We are in a very unique position to be able to do that. And if they no longer want or feel they need to carry knives or other weapons a big part of the issue is fixed right there. Will we get through to all of them and have them all never carry weapons again? No, of course not. But we can make a huge dent in the numbers who do.

The schools who work with us are progressive and are in many ways pioneers in addressing this issue and the other relevant issues facing their students’ safety. Some others are just plain apathetic and operating in a realm of absolute denial. This issue is real, it is obvious, the signs are there if they care to look, yet when one of their students or teachers is stabbed (again), you can guarantee we’ll hear the same old tune of “there was nothing we could do to prevent it”, or “it came out of the blue” . I am tired of hearing these things. There is plenty that can be done to prevent it and NONE of these incidents (not one) has happened “out of the blue”. Anyone who wishes to debate with me on that, I welcome it.

Anyway, this blog is just me sharing a couple of my many thoughts on this issue but at the end of the day it will be read by those who already know that what we are doing is making massive differences, and is unlikely to be read or taken seriously by anyone in the school system who will take any action. I hope I am wrong about that, I genuinely do, but I doubt that I am.

To end on a brighter note, we recently ran another women’s personal safety course at a decile 10 Auckland College and the results were absolutely outstanding. The feedback has been overwhelming from the staff and the students alike and the difference in the students’ confidence and overall empowerment was incredible. So there are schools who really are making a great difference and it is always an honour to work with them.

Original article here:


Armed in the classroom
By Chloe Johnson 5:30 AM Sunday Oct 9, 2011

Teachers are trying to fathom why an increasing number of kids, some as young as 5, bring weapons to school.

Expand Teachers are allowed to search children for weapons and drugs, but many are nervous of doing this one-on-one. Photo / Janna DixonChildren as young as 5 are among the alarming number of pupils who have been suspended or stood down for having weapons at school.

Figures the Herald on Sunday obtained through the Official Information Act show more than 1000 students have been removed from schools for possessing or using a weapon in the past two years.

At least 700 cases involved knives, blades, hammers, scissors and guns, including replicas.

In one case, a 5-year-old boy was stood down for five days for violent behaviour - brandish-ing a weapon - at teachers and students in the classroom. The type of weapon used has not been disclosed.

Ministry of Education curriculum and performance manager Jeremy Wood refused to name the school to protect the child's identity. However, he said the boy was removed from class after the incident in 2009 and received support from special education services for more than a year.

"He has not received any further stand-downs or suspensions, and no further support is currently needed," Wood said.

Educational psychologist Fiona Ayers said it was a huge concern the boy had become violent at such a young age.

"That's scary. What is going on in that kid's life that makes him feel he is so unsafe he has to carry a weapon?"

She said there were several reasons children carried weapons: protection from bullies, issues at home, influence from television or video games and simply thinking it was "cool" to have weapons.

"It's more the impulsive ones doing it. I have heard of kids who have left school and gone home then come back with weapons because they are upset. They are the ones more likely to use them."

Unskilled parents were a large part of the problem because children were copycats.

'Some of them, we do have to look at the culture of the environment they are in ... if family or uncles or people in the neighbourhood are doing that sort of thing then it might be one option for the child."

Te Puke High School maths teacher Steve Hose, 53, was stabbed in the neck and shoulder four times last year by a 13-year-old student from a dysfunctional family. The student took his own life about three months ago.

Hose said he ran to the front of the classroom after being stabbed and felt the blood dripping down his body. "I yelled at the kids, 'Get out'. I just needed them out of the way," Hose said. He looked in the "wide focused eyes" of his attacker and said, 'Are you sure you want to do this, mate?'. He looked at me dead in eyes and said, 'Yes'."

Education Minister Anne Tolley introduced new guidelines this year for teachers to search students for drugs and weapons which Hose supported. "But you need to get a senior team to direct the proceedings. One-on-one is a bad idea."

FAVOURITE WEAPONS

* Knife: 450

* Gun, including toy: 219

* Scissors: 36

* Blade: 12

* Hammer: 11

Total suspensions and stand downs between 2008 and 2010 for weapons-related incidents:
* Primary (Yr 1-8), 409;
* Secondary (Yr 9-15), 609;
* Composite (Yr 1-15), 49 (2008-2010)

Martial Artists: A dangerous blow

This article is specifically for the martial artists whom read this blog as I received an email from someone (martial artist) who I think could really benefit from this.

A while ago a guy named Jase (not his real name) enquired about joining our group classes which we hold for the public. Everyone who requests to join us has an informal ‘interview’, really just a chat, so that we can evaluate their intentions and make sure that we can provide what they are looking for and also to ensure that they are a good fit for the class (we have a ‘no-egg’ policy). Because so many people believe ‘self defence’ is about fighting it’s important that we let them know that is not what we do, and if we can we’ll point them to a club or school that can help them.

Jase seemed like (and is) a nice guy but there was also some intuition that told me he was troubled and in a bad emotional place. To cut the story short after a chat it transpired that Jase, who is a black belt in karate and has also trained in Muay Thai and BJJ, had two months earlier been beaten up pretty bad. Physically he was not too injured (broken nose, broken ribs, so still a bad day) but psychologically he was beaten up very bad. His words to me were “It wasn’t supposed to happen like that”. I asked him how it was “supposed to happen” and he told me “Well, you know, like I was taught”.

His whole situation was avoidable at multiple different points before it escalated to violence. It was also (probably) fairly easily defused. That is if he had any training in either concept, which of course he did not. So being left with only a physical response as his go-to option he expected the physical aspect of the ‘fight’ to look like it did at his training. But that was obviously not the case and Jase had to learn the hard way about how real violence unfolds. Later on in the evening Jase was watching some of our team doing scenario training and I saw him look at me and shake his head as if in disbelief. I asked him what was wrong and he said that everything that was unfolding before his eyes in that scenario was just like his situation except our team were getting a very different result obviously. He said that if he had come here three months ago this would not have happened to him. Sadly that is true but too late to change. Jase had formed a new, disempowering identity for himself. I explained that although past performance is a good indicator of future performance, if changes are made history does not have to repeat itself. The past does not need to equal the future, but changes need to be made.

The two months of beating himself up over the event had done as much damage as the event itself due to his lack of understanding of how real violence happens. Prior to the event he had a perception of how thing “should” happen based on his experience with martial arts and sport fighting, but this is very rarely ever the case (almost never in fact). So for two months he had been blaming himself, attributing the outcome to his own inadequacies, which is just so wrong and unfair to him.

After a debriefing session, where we anatomised the event and helped it make sense for him in real terms he was able to see that it was not his own inadequacies (mostly), it was an issue with his training. He thought (because he had been told) that he was learning ‘self defence’, whereas in actual fact he had been learning an art on one side, and a sport on the other. Both of which have very little to do with dealing with real aggression or violence. This debriefing also helped him to understand that he needed to talk with a councellor about the event (he was showing signs of PTSD so a professional was required to help him work through this). So often, for males, society has an expectation that they can be exposed to serious violence and just ‘carry on’ and ‘deal with it’. Often this is possible especially if the person has some degree of understanding or experience with real violence, but just as often, it is not. There are things that normal citizens are just not supposed to experience or have to ‘deal with’ and getting through these things often takes a bit of help. There is nothing ‘soft’ or unmanly about getting help but that is unfortunately often a stereotype that men must face. The fact is that violence affects everyone who is exposed to it. It affects different people to different degrees, but even the toughest among us (I have trained some elite units and even they often require support after certain incidents) can still be affected, that is part of being human.

What I have found is that people who consider themselves to be ‘fighters’ or proficient martial artists often suffer enormous damage to their self esteem and confidence after they suffer a beating, even more so than the average person. Often their training is their absolute passion, one of the main focuses in their life and much of their identity is linked to their perceived proficiency (or rank, or position, or titles etc) in that art or sport. So when they are attacked and in their mind “lose” the fight or fail to protect someone else it can be very tough to deal with.

By understanding how things really happen though, and then being able to make a very clear distinction about whether their training is in actual fact sports oriented, art oriented, or self defence oriented, they can make sense of things and make the necessary adjustments. If the sole reason they joined their martial art was for self defence, they may realise they need to change or add something else to it. If they joined because they love the art or the sports side of things, then that is great, they will see that it is a sport which is fun, enjoyable, challenging, demanding etc but not a self defence system so their expectations of its street proficiency will change and be more realistic.

Side note: As part of the interview with “Jase” I intuitively determined that his motivations were not as clear cut as he had made out. A few direct questions revealed that another part of his motivation for wanting to learn from us was (sub consciously) to have another chance to ‘prove himself’ and recover his damaged self esteem. He didn’t even realise he was doing it but I have seen this several times before. It is quite common to fall into a retaliation mode after taking a beating and want to (either consciously or sub-consciously) put yourself into another situation to prove yourself. Once he was aware that process was present, it was relatively easy to dissipate and give him a new focus which would actually serve him and be helpful rather than destructive.

I hope this article stirs something in you and may help you ask yourself and/or your instructor some relevant and important questions about your training. If nothing more, just knowing which “box” your training falls into can help you reduce the chances of going through a situation like Jase, and thousands of others have gone through.

If you are a martial artist/sport fighter and you want to see how your training relates to real life encounters (as well as learn some cool new skills) check out the Combat Coalition Boot Camp in Auckland in November. If you are out of town...Travel. It will be worth it!

Dealing with fear...

Latest article from Darcy...Enjoy!

Seriously...What?

Ok, Prepare yourselves for one of my rants... :-)

There is a lot of junk 'self defence' taught out there, nobody reading this will find that to be new information. Some of it is plain comical and some of it is downright dangerous. After doing this job for so long I normally don't let it get to me when I see this stuff, I just focus on the good things I see and learn from them and aim to ignore the 'not helpful' stuff. But apparently today I must be experiencing a moment of weakness because I let what I just saw frustrate me.

I (and all of our instructors) tell every single person we train to feel free to challenge us on absolutely anything at all, and if they don't agree with us to let us know. There are no sacred cows with what we do, if we can't back up what we are teaching, really back it up, then we should not be teaching it. It is potentially people's lives at stake.

So when a mate of mine forwarded me a link of one of the 'top' self defense instructors in the USA teaching women's self defence (women's self defence is like the centre of the universe for bad advice in most cases) I expected to see quality information. A few things he said were smart and sound, and then I saw what he is teaching women to do against a potential rape...Drop onto the floor from a standing position and kick him. I kid you not. I thought about posting the link up but I think that is unprofessional so I have decided not to and this blog is more about the general problem of blindly following what we are told than this specific isolated (but not uncommon) instance.

What worried me more than the absolute rubbish advice, was that the willing group of participants seemed to be hanging on his every word and NO-ONE challenged him. No-one had a flash of common sense (or if they did they did not bring it up) and consider the real possible consequences of just this one piece of bad advice (there was more but I'll stay with this one as an example).

Drop on the ground voluntarily? Seriously? Come on, give me a break.

Yes, there are always exceptions to every rule, and yes the situation always dictates the response so there may be a time when dropping to the floor is the best option, but those times are few and far between, and to have it as the primary (or only, as in this case) option is more than just ludicrous, it is dangerous.

If I go into all of reasons why this advice is so bad I'll be writing all day, but just a couple of reasons, pre-assuming all of the behavioural, psychological, pre-contact stages have failed or were never available and a physical response is the only option, why would going to the floor on purpose for a physical response be a very dangerous thing to do?

1) That is where he probably wants you anyway. You just helped him achieve his purpose. It also gives him a physical and psychological advantage (at least in his mind).
2) You eliminate or greatly reduce your escape options. How are you supposed to get out of here, to run, to escape now? Do you really think that your kicking him in the legs, on its own, is likely to incapacitate him enough for you to stand and escape. Possible, yes. Probable, no.
3) You are now as far away as possible from the primary targets, you also reduce the grounding, distancing and torque available to you while standing if you are able to achieve a stunning strike/s to enable you to escape.
4) Your access to natural (improvised) weapons is greatly reduced.
5) His ability to stomp and kick you is maximised and the danger to you in that sense is extreme (worse still if multiple attackers). We teach to kick out at the opponent (among other things) if you are forced to the floor (thrown down, tripped, started there etc) but as a means to get back to your feet immediately! We don't want to go there volunarily to start with!
6) Try doing that on concrete by the way. Sure in reality you may have to if you end up there, but rolling around on gravel etc is not fun, it makes a mess. Environment plays a huge role.
7) Your access to your available 'tools' is now massively reduced, and his increases. This is potentially loading the dice in HIS favour and putting yourself in a real bad spot.

These are just a few of the reasons this advice is not good, there are more.

But what I want to stress is that if someone teaches you something about self defence, and they are doing it from the perspective of 'this is what you do in reality' as opposed to learning martial arts self defence etc, then think logically, ask questions, and challenge them. It is your life on the line. It is not a game. There is no way this instructor could back this up if any of our students or instructors had a debate with him on it, it would fail. It doesn't make friggin sense.

Rant over. I'll do my best to ignore the rubbish that is out there again, but just occasionally, like today, it gets to me.

'Child Power' Article: The Aucklander

'Child Power' Article: The Aucklander, August 4 2011

'Empower Your Kids to be Safe...For Life' available in most bookstores or from Amazon.com by clicking HERE

'Don't get into debt'

Latest article from Darcy!

Avoid, defuse

Latest Article from Darcy...Enjoy!

Workplace 'Bully' loses his advantage...

At Protect we don't use the term 'bullying' for any situations involving anyone older than around 10 years. After that age we call it what it really is: 'Peer Aggression'. By giving the issue the mantle that it deserves people tend to take the issue more seriously, and it is a serious issue. It causes loss of confidence, self esteem, and self belief, it has caused suicides, murders, assaults, and substance abuse, broken up families and ruined countless people's lives. It is not an issue that should be tolerated, either at school, the workplace or in any other facet of life.

Yesterday I received an email from a man who attended one of our recent 'Best Defence (phase 1)' courses, I'll call him Joe, which is not his real name. He explained how he had been the target of a 'workplace bully' for the past year. He had bought the issue up to management only to have it 'played down' and to a large degree, dismissed. It has caused him huge stress and affected his home life and his health. He told me that he has been looking for another job unsuccessfully, and that the sole reason for him wanting to leave his employer of six years (at a job that he otherwise loves) was because of this person.

At 'Best Defence' (as with all of our core courses) we address the behvioural and psychological aspects of self defence as well as the physical. Because of the way we train attendees there is an immediate shift in belief systems, resulting in greater confidence and a feeling of personal empowerment. This is the basis of effective self defence.

Jow explained that the course had such a deep impact on him that he walked into his office on Monday morning a different person, different to the person who left on Friday night. He took immedite action on the issue of his tormentor. He had a meeting with his boss where he confidently explained what was happening and what the options were for them. His boss has now taken the matter seriously and is standing behind Joe with the support and action required.

He then met with the man who has been causing the issues. Joe told me that he would NEVER have been able to have the conversation, with the degree of confidence and certainty, prior to the course. He addressed the issue in a non-challenging, non-threatening way, but with a confidence and focus that left his prior aggressor under no illusions of his options. He also did it in such a way as to let the man save face and have a 'way out' (which we teach), and the man took it. He has gained an apology and the past week has been a different experience for him when he arrives at work. In his words: " The weight is off my shoulders and I am actually enjoying going to work again"

How did this take place? Because self defence (real Self Defence) training empowers you with a confidence and belief system which all on it's own makes you a 'hard target' for aggressor's, it grows you as a person from your core.

Emerson once said: "Who you are screams so loudly in my ears that I can not hear what you are saying"

Joe told me that he originally attended our course (thinking like most people that self defence is all about martial arts and/or solely physical moves, which it is not) to learn to physically protect himself becasue he expected the situation to get so bad that he would be assaulted physically. He said that what he gained was infinitely more, it made him a strong person, with the confidence to stand up for himself and the skills to do it in a way which made the situation better and not worse.

I acknowledge Joe for realising the need to imporove his situation, for attending the course, for taking the action, and for sharing his story with me.

This is what self defence at Protect is all about.

Impulse...

Some kids tag a man's fence, he sees them and chases them down the road with a kitchen knife. A fight ensues and he stabs one of them. The kid dies, the man is sent to prison. Many lives are destroyed. Why didn't he get descriptions and call the police?

A man is walking with his girlfriend when they are mugged at gunpoint for her purse. Because he is a martial arts black belt he tries to physically engage the mugger and is shot dead. Why didn't they just hand over the purse?

A champion kickboxer is training when he sees someone back into his car and drive off. He chases the car down the road and tries to drag the guy out of the car when it stops at an intersection. The guys pulls a weapon and kills the kickboxer. Why didn't he just get the car's licence plate and call the Police?

A man is in his kitchen when he sees a couple of youths kick his letterbox over. He chases them down the street and catches them. One of them picks up a rock and hits him on the head and in the face repeatedly with it. He is left with severe brain damage. Why didn't he just call the Police?

And then this today:

http://nz.news.yahoo.com/a/-/top-stories/9775930/melbourne-woman-dies-in-stabbing/

Youths threw eggs at their house. So they chased them, and now the lady is dead. Why didn't they just call the Police?

I have literally dozens of real stories, like the ones above that illustrate this point. Now I know it's easy to say what they 'could have done' when no-one can say for sure what should/could/would have happened unless they were actually there, but these are straight forward enough to illustrate a point.

That point is that when people have not had any decent self defence training, they are often unable to see the context of situations when they perceive threat or are at the mercy of fear and/or anger, and often act on impulse...Often with disasterous counsequesnces. Our courses prepare peoople to deal with the behavioual and psychological aspects of these situations so that these tragic outcomes can be avoided. This is real self defence, applicable to anyone, in any area, at any age...

Schoolgirl attack warning

This article appeared in the Herald On Sunday (3/7/11, italics are mine, see below the article for my comments):

A 17-year-old girl attacked by a sexual predator while walking home from school is warning other students about the dangers of wearing iPods.

The teen is one of two St Mary's College, Auckland, students grabbed by strangers while walking to and from school. The second was barely a week ago.

Both were listening to iPods via earpieces at the time and did not hear the men behind them.

The 17-year-old, who did not want to be identified, warned others to turn down the volume on iPods or to wear only one earpiece so they were alerted to potential danger.

"It's something nobody ever talks about. People from age 12 to my age think they're invincible," she said.

In March the teen was on Hamilton Rd, five minutes from home, when a man came up behind her and "tried to grab me and drag me into a driveway", she said.

"I got such a fright. I screamed and shoved him and told him to f*** off."

The man - whom she described as stocky and of Pacific Island or Filipino origin in his 20s - then took off.

On June 23, a 12-year-old girl from the same school fought off a man's advances with a kick to the groin.

She was walking along Douglas St in Ponsonby when the man came up behind her, made lewd suggestions and grabbed her arm.

Police described the man as in his 40s with long silver or grey hair and with an orange hue to his skin.

St Mary's College principal Sandy Pasley said students and parents needed to be aware of the dangers of wearing iPods, especially when walking alone.

Following the second incident, she sent a newsletter to parents warning them about the dangers and encouraged students to walk in groups if possible.

Both of the girls in these recent attacks did very well once they were confronted. Awesome in fact!

The reason this article bothered me though was this statement:

The 17-year-old, who did not want to be identified, warned others to turn down the volume on iPods or to wear only one earpiece so they were alerted to potential danger.

"It's something nobody ever talks about. People from age 12 to my age think they're invincible," she said.

Why did this bother me? Because I am saddened that this attack could potentially have been avoided if their situational awareness had not been restricted due to the ipod's blaring in their ears. And the fact is WE DO TALK ABOUT THIS! A LOT! It is a part of the safety discussions we do at every school we work with, and many other courses too. We have writtern articles about it, commented on the issue for media and many others. And not just Ipods, but drink spiking, texting, technology safety, taxi safety, getting followed, and many other safety strategies which make up just a part of the 'recognition and awareness' phase of our school courses.

The problem is that not enough schools are taking the proactive action to get us in there to teach their kids to be safe. And that bothers me. So many times girls have been attacked, sometimes with horrendous consequences, and the opinion of many is "It's terrible, but there is nothing anyone could have done to prevent it". And that is pure apathy, and is completely ignorant. Most of these situations can be avoided (not all, but most) and that is what we teach people to do. So to hear a 17 year old girl say that nobody ever talks about this stuff, after she has been put through a terrifying situation that could have been avoided is really sad to me.

We are here for any school who needs us, but they have to take the action to get us there. I really hope this changes soon, there are many attacks such as this one, and date rapes, acquaintance rapes, stranger rapes, sexual assaults, drug rapes, and many other situations (1 in 4 kiwi girls are sexually assaulted before the age of 16) which we can help avoid with the school's help.

If you have children at school, please send them our details and insist that they run one of our safety programs for their kids. These are life skills which are no longer a 'nice-to-have', they are a necessity.

Online Safety for Kids Series Part 3

Our new book 'Empower Your Kids to be Safe...For Life' has been getting fantastic reviews and I am really stoked with the feedback. So I thought I'd pick some pieces of it and give them away for free to you. So over the next few blogs I will reporoduce parts of the section on Online safety, as I receive quite a few questions about this subject. Please let me know if you have any questions. Cheers. Phil

3)Ensure that all Security Software is Installed and Up To Date.

A computer without adequate, updated virus protection software is exposed to multiple risks including Malware (malicious software including viruses, spyware, trojan horses, adware, and spam), Identity theft, Spoofing, Phishing, and Keystroke loggers. It is vital that you have adequate software installed and that it is kept updated to protect your kids and yourself from these threats.

For younger children (pre-teen) you may also choose to register with a child specific ISP (Internet Service Provider). These ISP’s function as your child’s home page browser and only allow children to surf areas of the internet that are approved for children of specific ages. There are several of these browsers available. Two of them are www.razzul.com and www.kidwideweb.net