Latest article from Darcy!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Workplace 'Bully' loses his advantage...
At Protect we don't use the term 'bullying' for any situations involving anyone older than around 10 years. After that age we call it what it really is: 'Peer Aggression'. By giving the issue the mantle that it deserves people tend to take the issue more seriously, and it is a serious issue. It causes loss of confidence, self esteem, and self belief, it has caused suicides, murders, assaults, and substance abuse, broken up families and ruined countless people's lives. It is not an issue that should be tolerated, either at school, the workplace or in any other facet of life.
Yesterday I received an email from a man who attended one of our recent 'Best Defence (phase 1)' courses, I'll call him Joe, which is not his real name. He explained how he had been the target of a 'workplace bully' for the past year. He had bought the issue up to management only to have it 'played down' and to a large degree, dismissed. It has caused him huge stress and affected his home life and his health. He told me that he has been looking for another job unsuccessfully, and that the sole reason for him wanting to leave his employer of six years (at a job that he otherwise loves) was because of this person.
At 'Best Defence' (as with all of our core courses) we address the behvioural and psychological aspects of self defence as well as the physical. Because of the way we train attendees there is an immediate shift in belief systems, resulting in greater confidence and a feeling of personal empowerment. This is the basis of effective self defence.
Jow explained that the course had such a deep impact on him that he walked into his office on Monday morning a different person, different to the person who left on Friday night. He took immedite action on the issue of his tormentor. He had a meeting with his boss where he confidently explained what was happening and what the options were for them. His boss has now taken the matter seriously and is standing behind Joe with the support and action required.
He then met with the man who has been causing the issues. Joe told me that he would NEVER have been able to have the conversation, with the degree of confidence and certainty, prior to the course. He addressed the issue in a non-challenging, non-threatening way, but with a confidence and focus that left his prior aggressor under no illusions of his options. He also did it in such a way as to let the man save face and have a 'way out' (which we teach), and the man took it. He has gained an apology and the past week has been a different experience for him when he arrives at work. In his words: " The weight is off my shoulders and I am actually enjoying going to work again"
How did this take place? Because self defence (real Self Defence) training empowers you with a confidence and belief system which all on it's own makes you a 'hard target' for aggressor's, it grows you as a person from your core.
Emerson once said: "Who you are screams so loudly in my ears that I can not hear what you are saying"
Joe told me that he originally attended our course (thinking like most people that self defence is all about martial arts and/or solely physical moves, which it is not) to learn to physically protect himself becasue he expected the situation to get so bad that he would be assaulted physically. He said that what he gained was infinitely more, it made him a strong person, with the confidence to stand up for himself and the skills to do it in a way which made the situation better and not worse.
I acknowledge Joe for realising the need to imporove his situation, for attending the course, for taking the action, and for sharing his story with me.
This is what self defence at Protect is all about.
Yesterday I received an email from a man who attended one of our recent 'Best Defence (phase 1)' courses, I'll call him Joe, which is not his real name. He explained how he had been the target of a 'workplace bully' for the past year. He had bought the issue up to management only to have it 'played down' and to a large degree, dismissed. It has caused him huge stress and affected his home life and his health. He told me that he has been looking for another job unsuccessfully, and that the sole reason for him wanting to leave his employer of six years (at a job that he otherwise loves) was because of this person.
At 'Best Defence' (as with all of our core courses) we address the behvioural and psychological aspects of self defence as well as the physical. Because of the way we train attendees there is an immediate shift in belief systems, resulting in greater confidence and a feeling of personal empowerment. This is the basis of effective self defence.
Jow explained that the course had such a deep impact on him that he walked into his office on Monday morning a different person, different to the person who left on Friday night. He took immedite action on the issue of his tormentor. He had a meeting with his boss where he confidently explained what was happening and what the options were for them. His boss has now taken the matter seriously and is standing behind Joe with the support and action required.
He then met with the man who has been causing the issues. Joe told me that he would NEVER have been able to have the conversation, with the degree of confidence and certainty, prior to the course. He addressed the issue in a non-challenging, non-threatening way, but with a confidence and focus that left his prior aggressor under no illusions of his options. He also did it in such a way as to let the man save face and have a 'way out' (which we teach), and the man took it. He has gained an apology and the past week has been a different experience for him when he arrives at work. In his words: " The weight is off my shoulders and I am actually enjoying going to work again"
How did this take place? Because self defence (real Self Defence) training empowers you with a confidence and belief system which all on it's own makes you a 'hard target' for aggressor's, it grows you as a person from your core.
Emerson once said: "Who you are screams so loudly in my ears that I can not hear what you are saying"
Joe told me that he originally attended our course (thinking like most people that self defence is all about martial arts and/or solely physical moves, which it is not) to learn to physically protect himself becasue he expected the situation to get so bad that he would be assaulted physically. He said that what he gained was infinitely more, it made him a strong person, with the confidence to stand up for himself and the skills to do it in a way which made the situation better and not worse.
I acknowledge Joe for realising the need to imporove his situation, for attending the course, for taking the action, and for sharing his story with me.
This is what self defence at Protect is all about.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Impulse...
Some kids tag a man's fence, he sees them and chases them down the road with a kitchen knife. A fight ensues and he stabs one of them. The kid dies, the man is sent to prison. Many lives are destroyed. Why didn't he get descriptions and call the police?
A man is walking with his girlfriend when they are mugged at gunpoint for her purse. Because he is a martial arts black belt he tries to physically engage the mugger and is shot dead. Why didn't they just hand over the purse?
A champion kickboxer is training when he sees someone back into his car and drive off. He chases the car down the road and tries to drag the guy out of the car when it stops at an intersection. The guys pulls a weapon and kills the kickboxer. Why didn't he just get the car's licence plate and call the Police?
A man is in his kitchen when he sees a couple of youths kick his letterbox over. He chases them down the street and catches them. One of them picks up a rock and hits him on the head and in the face repeatedly with it. He is left with severe brain damage. Why didn't he just call the Police?
And then this today:
http://nz.news.yahoo.com/a/-/top-stories/9775930/melbourne-woman-dies-in-stabbing/
Youths threw eggs at their house. So they chased them, and now the lady is dead. Why didn't they just call the Police?
I have literally dozens of real stories, like the ones above that illustrate this point. Now I know it's easy to say what they 'could have done' when no-one can say for sure what should/could/would have happened unless they were actually there, but these are straight forward enough to illustrate a point.
That point is that when people have not had any decent self defence training, they are often unable to see the context of situations when they perceive threat or are at the mercy of fear and/or anger, and often act on impulse...Often with disasterous counsequesnces. Our courses prepare peoople to deal with the behavioual and psychological aspects of these situations so that these tragic outcomes can be avoided. This is real self defence, applicable to anyone, in any area, at any age...
A man is walking with his girlfriend when they are mugged at gunpoint for her purse. Because he is a martial arts black belt he tries to physically engage the mugger and is shot dead. Why didn't they just hand over the purse?
A champion kickboxer is training when he sees someone back into his car and drive off. He chases the car down the road and tries to drag the guy out of the car when it stops at an intersection. The guys pulls a weapon and kills the kickboxer. Why didn't he just get the car's licence plate and call the Police?
A man is in his kitchen when he sees a couple of youths kick his letterbox over. He chases them down the street and catches them. One of them picks up a rock and hits him on the head and in the face repeatedly with it. He is left with severe brain damage. Why didn't he just call the Police?
And then this today:
http://nz.news.yahoo.com/a/-/top-stories/9775930/melbourne-woman-dies-in-stabbing/
Youths threw eggs at their house. So they chased them, and now the lady is dead. Why didn't they just call the Police?
I have literally dozens of real stories, like the ones above that illustrate this point. Now I know it's easy to say what they 'could have done' when no-one can say for sure what should/could/would have happened unless they were actually there, but these are straight forward enough to illustrate a point.
That point is that when people have not had any decent self defence training, they are often unable to see the context of situations when they perceive threat or are at the mercy of fear and/or anger, and often act on impulse...Often with disasterous counsequesnces. Our courses prepare peoople to deal with the behavioual and psychological aspects of these situations so that these tragic outcomes can be avoided. This is real self defence, applicable to anyone, in any area, at any age...
Schoolgirl attack warning
This article appeared in the Herald On Sunday (3/7/11, italics are mine, see below the article for my comments):
On June 23, a 12-year-old girl from the same school fought off a man's advances with a kick to the groin.
She was walking along Douglas St in Ponsonby when the man came up behind her, made lewd suggestions and grabbed her arm.
Both of the girls in these recent attacks did very well once they were confronted. Awesome in fact!
The reason this article bothered me though was this statement:
The problem is that not enough schools are taking the proactive action to get us in there to teach their kids to be safe. And that bothers me. So many times girls have been attacked, sometimes with horrendous consequences, and the opinion of many is "It's terrible, but there is nothing anyone could have done to prevent it". And that is pure apathy, and is completely ignorant. Most of these situations can be avoided (not all, but most) and that is what we teach people to do. So to hear a 17 year old girl say that nobody ever talks about this stuff, after she has been put through a terrifying situation that could have been avoided is really sad to me.
We are here for any school who needs us, but they have to take the action to get us there. I really hope this changes soon, there are many attacks such as this one, and date rapes, acquaintance rapes, stranger rapes, sexual assaults, drug rapes, and many other situations (1 in 4 kiwi girls are sexually assaulted before the age of 16) which we can help avoid with the school's help.
If you have children at school, please send them our details and insist that they run one of our safety programs for their kids. These are life skills which are no longer a 'nice-to-have', they are a necessity.
A 17-year-old girl attacked by a sexual predator while walking home from school is warning other students about the dangers of wearing iPods.
The teen is one of two St Mary's College, Auckland, students grabbed by strangers while walking to and from school. The second was barely a week ago.
Both were listening to iPods via earpieces at the time and did not hear the men behind them.
The 17-year-old, who did not want to be identified, warned others to turn down the volume on iPods or to wear only one earpiece so they were alerted to potential danger.
"It's something nobody ever talks about. People from age 12 to my age think they're invincible," she said.
In March the teen was on Hamilton Rd, five minutes from home, when a man came up behind her and "tried to grab me and drag me into a driveway", she said.
"I got such a fright. I screamed and shoved him and told him to f*** off."
On June 23, a 12-year-old girl from the same school fought off a man's advances with a kick to the groin.
She was walking along Douglas St in Ponsonby when the man came up behind her, made lewd suggestions and grabbed her arm.
Police described the man as in his 40s with long silver or grey hair and with an orange hue to his skin.
St Mary's College principal Sandy Pasley said students and parents needed to be aware of the dangers of wearing iPods, especially when walking alone.
Following the second incident, she sent a newsletter to parents warning them about the dangers and encouraged students to walk in groups if possible.
Both of the girls in these recent attacks did very well once they were confronted. Awesome in fact!
The reason this article bothered me though was this statement:
The 17-year-old, who did not want to be identified, warned others to turn down the volume on iPods or to wear only one earpiece so they were alerted to potential danger.
"It's something nobody ever talks about. People from age 12 to my age think they're invincible," she said.
Why did this bother me? Because I am saddened that this attack could potentially have been avoided if their situational awareness had not been restricted due to the ipod's blaring in their ears. And the fact is WE DO TALK ABOUT THIS! A LOT! It is a part of the safety discussions we do at every school we work with, and many other courses too. We have writtern articles about it, commented on the issue for media and many others. And not just Ipods, but drink spiking, texting, technology safety, taxi safety, getting followed, and many other safety strategies which make up just a part of the 'recognition and awareness' phase of our school courses.The problem is that not enough schools are taking the proactive action to get us in there to teach their kids to be safe. And that bothers me. So many times girls have been attacked, sometimes with horrendous consequences, and the opinion of many is "It's terrible, but there is nothing anyone could have done to prevent it". And that is pure apathy, and is completely ignorant. Most of these situations can be avoided (not all, but most) and that is what we teach people to do. So to hear a 17 year old girl say that nobody ever talks about this stuff, after she has been put through a terrifying situation that could have been avoided is really sad to me.
We are here for any school who needs us, but they have to take the action to get us there. I really hope this changes soon, there are many attacks such as this one, and date rapes, acquaintance rapes, stranger rapes, sexual assaults, drug rapes, and many other situations (1 in 4 kiwi girls are sexually assaulted before the age of 16) which we can help avoid with the school's help.
If you have children at school, please send them our details and insist that they run one of our safety programs for their kids. These are life skills which are no longer a 'nice-to-have', they are a necessity.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Online Safety for Kids Series Part 3
Our new book 'Empower Your Kids to be Safe...For Life' has been getting fantastic reviews and I am really stoked with the feedback. So I thought I'd pick some pieces of it and give them away for free to you. So over the next few blogs I will reporoduce parts of the section on Online safety, as I receive quite a few questions about this subject. Please let me know if you have any questions. Cheers. Phil
3)Ensure that all Security Software is Installed and Up To Date.
A computer without adequate, updated virus protection software is exposed to multiple risks including Malware (malicious software including viruses, spyware, trojan horses, adware, and spam), Identity theft, Spoofing, Phishing, and Keystroke loggers. It is vital that you have adequate software installed and that it is kept updated to protect your kids and yourself from these threats.
For younger children (pre-teen) you may also choose to register with a child specific ISP (Internet Service Provider). These ISP’s function as your child’s home page browser and only allow children to surf areas of the internet that are approved for children of specific ages. There are several of these browsers available. Two of them are www.razzul.com and www.kidwideweb.net
3)Ensure that all Security Software is Installed and Up To Date.
A computer without adequate, updated virus protection software is exposed to multiple risks including Malware (malicious software including viruses, spyware, trojan horses, adware, and spam), Identity theft, Spoofing, Phishing, and Keystroke loggers. It is vital that you have adequate software installed and that it is kept updated to protect your kids and yourself from these threats.
For younger children (pre-teen) you may also choose to register with a child specific ISP (Internet Service Provider). These ISP’s function as your child’s home page browser and only allow children to surf areas of the internet that are approved for children of specific ages. There are several of these browsers available. Two of them are www.razzul.com and www.kidwideweb.net
A question of choice...
I was working with a group of young students this week and one of them, who was really genuinely concerned, asked me a question:
"I'm going to a party on Friday. There are going to be a bunch of guys there who always start fights, they carry knives and one of them stabbed a guy at a party last year and is a real psycho. Everyone knows they are going to start something on Friday, 'cause some of the other guys who are going to be there had a fight with them before. What can I do to protect myself?".
Of course he was looking for some magic move or tactic.
From there the conversation went something like this:
Me: "Mate, I can give you a strategy will will absolutely GUARANTEE that you won't be stabbed or bashed at the party, 100%, sound good?"
Him: "Yeah, cool. That's what I need"
His mate: "Yeah, Can you show me too?"
Me: "Of course, I'm happy to"
His mate: "Awesome'
Me: "Don't go to the party."
Them both: "Oh, aye?"
Me: "Use your heads fella's. This is self defence 101. You know there is a high liklihood of trouble, you are worried that you may be bashed or stabbed. You almost know for sure that shit is going to go down there...So why would you go? Seriously guys, find another party"
Him: "Oh, yeah, I s'pose"
Me: "That's the best advice I can give you guys. You asked me, and I'm telling you. Don't go, it's not worth it."
Them: "Yeah, true aye, we didn't really look at it that way. Yeah, that's cool"
I hope like hell that they listened. Sometimes people just need to hear the obvious. Stage 1 of what we teach: Avoidance through awareness and recognition.
Just thought I'd share it anyway...
"I'm going to a party on Friday. There are going to be a bunch of guys there who always start fights, they carry knives and one of them stabbed a guy at a party last year and is a real psycho. Everyone knows they are going to start something on Friday, 'cause some of the other guys who are going to be there had a fight with them before. What can I do to protect myself?".
Of course he was looking for some magic move or tactic.
From there the conversation went something like this:
Me: "Mate, I can give you a strategy will will absolutely GUARANTEE that you won't be stabbed or bashed at the party, 100%, sound good?"
Him: "Yeah, cool. That's what I need"
His mate: "Yeah, Can you show me too?"
Me: "Of course, I'm happy to"
His mate: "Awesome'
Me: "Don't go to the party."
Them both: "Oh, aye?"
Me: "Use your heads fella's. This is self defence 101. You know there is a high liklihood of trouble, you are worried that you may be bashed or stabbed. You almost know for sure that shit is going to go down there...So why would you go? Seriously guys, find another party"
Him: "Oh, yeah, I s'pose"
Me: "That's the best advice I can give you guys. You asked me, and I'm telling you. Don't go, it's not worth it."
Them: "Yeah, true aye, we didn't really look at it that way. Yeah, that's cool"
I hope like hell that they listened. Sometimes people just need to hear the obvious. Stage 1 of what we teach: Avoidance through awareness and recognition.
Just thought I'd share it anyway...
Sunday, June 19, 2011
'Hero' could easily have become a martyr...
I have received several emails about this event: (Read the article and see my comments at the bottom)
Gun terror: 'I'll shoot her'
By Michael Dickison 5:30 AM Friday Jun 17, 2011
Link to original article HERE
A shopkeeper used a hockey stick to fend off an armed gunman who was holding a pistol to the head of a customer, the mother of "two beautiful, young children".
As the robber demanded cash from the till - "Give me money or I'll shoot her" - the dairy owner had other ideas.
Jayesh Amin, owner of the Farm Cove Superette in East Auckland, said he could think only of saving the woman, a regular customer who he knew had two children.
Mr Amin was preparing to close the shop at 7.45pm on Wednesday when his last customer approached the counter with a couple of icecreams.
At the same moment, a young hooded man ran in, grabbed the woman by the neck, shoved a pistol at her head and yelled: "Give me money or I'll shoot her."
For a couple of seconds, Mr Amin stood frozen. "I was shocked because it happened so fast. I didn't understand what was happening."
Another man came in with a metal bar and told the first offender: "Go ahead, bro, go ahead, bro. Shoot her, bro."
As the second man lunged across the counter, Mr Amin was too rattled to notice that a third robber had followed the others into the store.
Mr Amin took $600 from the till and held it up.
"I offered the money. I told them to leave the woman alone and take the money: 'Don't do anything silly - just leave the woman'."
But instead of reaching for the money, the three young men yelled further threats at the female customer.
"They should have come to me to take the money but they didn't," Mr Amin said.
"It was very hard to know what to do because I had shown them the money. My first priority was to save the woman. She was local and I knew she had two beautiful young children."
So Mr Amin reached behind the counter for a hockey stick he had there and swung wildly at the three men.
He struck one, then ran around the counter towards the man with the gun.
The three men scurried out the front door.
"I think they got a little scared," Mr Amin said.
Police were quickly on the scene - Mr Amin's wife saw the incident on a security camera monitor in their upstairs residence, and called 111.
Two teenagers have been arrested for the robbery and appeared in court yesterday. Two others - one the driver of a getaway car - are being sought.
Last night, Mr Amin said he was still shaking because of the ordeal.
"I'm so tired. I couldn't sleep all night," he said. "From yesterday morning at seven, I haven't slept. I was so scared."
The drama did not end with the robbers running out the door.
Mr Amin chased them outside and called for help. The owner and chef from the next-door restaurant came to his aid.
The three robbers then ran to a car driven by a fourth man and sped away - only to be pursued by a member of the public.
The man chased the offenders until they stopped the car, got out and one pointed the gun at him.
As the man tried to flee, his rear windscreen shattered.
Police say they are exploring several possible reasons for the window breaking, and have not confirmed that it was caused by a gunshot.
The four offenders abandoned the car, and police later found an air pistol in it.
The two men arrested are aged 17 and 18 and appeared in the Manukau District Court yesterday on charges of assault with intent to rob, threatening to kill and commission of a crime with a firearm. Further charges may follow.
Police said that the store owner and the customer escaped serious injury but had been extremely shaken by events and were being counselled by Victim Support.
Detective Senior Sergeant Albie Alexander said criminal investigation branch staff had examined the premises and were following "very positive" leads regarding the identity of the two missing suspects.
By Michael Dickison
When I first heard this story I was told that a man had pointed a gun at the dairy owner and instead of handing over cash he had attacked the offender with a hockey stick and chased him out of the store. At that point he was being hailed a hero. Based on that limited information, I thought it was another case of a 'hero' who could have easily become a martyr. This is NOT the right course of action to take in armed hold up situations in most cases, the best option is compliance.
But then I looked into this further and the above article shed different light on the situation. Mr Amin did comply and offer money, but the offender did not take it and instead began to escalate his level of violence towards the woman who was at that stage being used as a hostage. That changes thinigs, and like it or not, unless you were actually there in that situation, none of us can say what was right and what was wrong. At the end of the day, what Mr Amin chose to do worked. Could he have taken other options, possibly, yes, but what he did was successful and I agree that he should be acknowledged for his actions.
What worries me is that many are hailing his actions as the way everyone should deal with these situations, and that is wrong. Black and white. Mr Amin's situation should not be considered typical. Confronting armed robbers in most cases is not a good thing. Bluntly, it may get you killed. In Mr Amin's unique situation, I applaude him for doing what he believed to be right in the moment, and acting in spite of his fear in defence of another person, and his actions worked. But his situation is not ALL situations, and therefore I am worried to hear the attitude of many that this response should be applied to ALL situations, as it most definitely should not.
My advice is to get some training around Armed Holdup Safety. Protect's half day course is excellent and provides people with realistic skills and options to deal with the majority of situations. Training can obviously help prepare people to deal with a situation in the best possible way, and also to control impulsive behaviour which could place you in danger, such as chasing the offenders car down the road, forcing them to stop, get out, and point the gun at the person. This could have had disatrous conssequesces. Our course teaches how to reduce the chances of an armed hold up, how to best manage during one, and how to manage the scene directly afterwards too. All three of these aspects are vital to understand, are highly valuable as a life skill, and believe it or not are actually interesting and even 'fun' to learn.
Remember, you don't need to work in a job where armed hold up is possible/probable to be involved in one. You may be a customer in a bank, service station, dairy, liqour store, bar, or anywhere that has cash or merchandise. So these skills are important to know.
My main point here is that Mr Amin did very well given the options and training he had available to him, and good on him for that. Please do not look at this situation though and think it is typical and that Mr Amin's response should be generically applied, as that is not (by a long shot) the best option.
Gun terror: 'I'll shoot her'
By Michael Dickison 5:30 AM Friday Jun 17, 2011
Link to original article HERE
A shopkeeper used a hockey stick to fend off an armed gunman who was holding a pistol to the head of a customer, the mother of "two beautiful, young children".
As the robber demanded cash from the till - "Give me money or I'll shoot her" - the dairy owner had other ideas.
Jayesh Amin, owner of the Farm Cove Superette in East Auckland, said he could think only of saving the woman, a regular customer who he knew had two children.
Mr Amin was preparing to close the shop at 7.45pm on Wednesday when his last customer approached the counter with a couple of icecreams.
At the same moment, a young hooded man ran in, grabbed the woman by the neck, shoved a pistol at her head and yelled: "Give me money or I'll shoot her."
For a couple of seconds, Mr Amin stood frozen. "I was shocked because it happened so fast. I didn't understand what was happening."
Another man came in with a metal bar and told the first offender: "Go ahead, bro, go ahead, bro. Shoot her, bro."
As the second man lunged across the counter, Mr Amin was too rattled to notice that a third robber had followed the others into the store.
Mr Amin took $600 from the till and held it up.
"I offered the money. I told them to leave the woman alone and take the money: 'Don't do anything silly - just leave the woman'."
But instead of reaching for the money, the three young men yelled further threats at the female customer.
"They should have come to me to take the money but they didn't," Mr Amin said.
"It was very hard to know what to do because I had shown them the money. My first priority was to save the woman. She was local and I knew she had two beautiful young children."
So Mr Amin reached behind the counter for a hockey stick he had there and swung wildly at the three men.
He struck one, then ran around the counter towards the man with the gun.
The three men scurried out the front door.
"I think they got a little scared," Mr Amin said.
Police were quickly on the scene - Mr Amin's wife saw the incident on a security camera monitor in their upstairs residence, and called 111.
Two teenagers have been arrested for the robbery and appeared in court yesterday. Two others - one the driver of a getaway car - are being sought.
Last night, Mr Amin said he was still shaking because of the ordeal.
"I'm so tired. I couldn't sleep all night," he said. "From yesterday morning at seven, I haven't slept. I was so scared."
The drama did not end with the robbers running out the door.
Mr Amin chased them outside and called for help. The owner and chef from the next-door restaurant came to his aid.
The three robbers then ran to a car driven by a fourth man and sped away - only to be pursued by a member of the public.
The man chased the offenders until they stopped the car, got out and one pointed the gun at him.
As the man tried to flee, his rear windscreen shattered.
Police say they are exploring several possible reasons for the window breaking, and have not confirmed that it was caused by a gunshot.
The four offenders abandoned the car, and police later found an air pistol in it.
The two men arrested are aged 17 and 18 and appeared in the Manukau District Court yesterday on charges of assault with intent to rob, threatening to kill and commission of a crime with a firearm. Further charges may follow.
Police said that the store owner and the customer escaped serious injury but had been extremely shaken by events and were being counselled by Victim Support.
Detective Senior Sergeant Albie Alexander said criminal investigation branch staff had examined the premises and were following "very positive" leads regarding the identity of the two missing suspects.
By Michael Dickison
When I first heard this story I was told that a man had pointed a gun at the dairy owner and instead of handing over cash he had attacked the offender with a hockey stick and chased him out of the store. At that point he was being hailed a hero. Based on that limited information, I thought it was another case of a 'hero' who could have easily become a martyr. This is NOT the right course of action to take in armed hold up situations in most cases, the best option is compliance.
But then I looked into this further and the above article shed different light on the situation. Mr Amin did comply and offer money, but the offender did not take it and instead began to escalate his level of violence towards the woman who was at that stage being used as a hostage. That changes thinigs, and like it or not, unless you were actually there in that situation, none of us can say what was right and what was wrong. At the end of the day, what Mr Amin chose to do worked. Could he have taken other options, possibly, yes, but what he did was successful and I agree that he should be acknowledged for his actions.
What worries me is that many are hailing his actions as the way everyone should deal with these situations, and that is wrong. Black and white. Mr Amin's situation should not be considered typical. Confronting armed robbers in most cases is not a good thing. Bluntly, it may get you killed. In Mr Amin's unique situation, I applaude him for doing what he believed to be right in the moment, and acting in spite of his fear in defence of another person, and his actions worked. But his situation is not ALL situations, and therefore I am worried to hear the attitude of many that this response should be applied to ALL situations, as it most definitely should not.
My advice is to get some training around Armed Holdup Safety. Protect's half day course is excellent and provides people with realistic skills and options to deal with the majority of situations. Training can obviously help prepare people to deal with a situation in the best possible way, and also to control impulsive behaviour which could place you in danger, such as chasing the offenders car down the road, forcing them to stop, get out, and point the gun at the person. This could have had disatrous conssequesces. Our course teaches how to reduce the chances of an armed hold up, how to best manage during one, and how to manage the scene directly afterwards too. All three of these aspects are vital to understand, are highly valuable as a life skill, and believe it or not are actually interesting and even 'fun' to learn.
Remember, you don't need to work in a job where armed hold up is possible/probable to be involved in one. You may be a customer in a bank, service station, dairy, liqour store, bar, or anywhere that has cash or merchandise. So these skills are important to know.
My main point here is that Mr Amin did very well given the options and training he had available to him, and good on him for that. Please do not look at this situation though and think it is typical and that Mr Amin's response should be generically applied, as that is not (by a long shot) the best option.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Online Safety For Kids Series - Part 2
Our new book 'Empower Your Kids to be Safe...For Life' has been getting fantastic reviews and I am really stoked with the feedback. So I thought I'd pick some pieces of it and give them away for free to you. So over the next few blogs I will reporoduce parts of the section on Online safety, as I receive quite a few questions about this subject. Please let me know if you have any questions. Cheers. Phil
2) Openly Communicate and Participate
The more that you participate and communicate with your child about their online activities, without seeming meddlesome, the more you will be able to understand what they get up to and how safe they are being.
One of the best ways to do this is to let them show you, and teach you, things on the internet. Be open to learning new things from them and ask relevant (sometimes ‘loaded’) questions as you go. For example: “Thanks for showing me how the chat room works, can you please tell me how to make sure that no-one can view my personal information? Also, what are the best strategies that you use to avoid contact with predators online?” Questions like this allow you to gauge their level of understanding and competence in this area, and if it is good, you can reinforce it with praise. If it is clearly lacking you can give them guidance and help them set new boundaries.
It is also important that you understand chat and SMS text lingo. It can seem like a completely different language and it is important that you at least understand the basics of it to know what is being said.
Examples of just a few of the commonly used chat acronyms are:
A/S/L = Age/Sex/Location
CD9 or just 9 = Parents are around/watching
CTN = Can’t talk now
LMIRL = Lets meet in real life
ILU = I love you
IWSN = I want sex now
F2F = Face to face
GNOC = Get naked on cam
HAK = Hugs and kisses
KPC = Keeping parents clueless
TDTM = Talk dirty to me
PAL = Parents are listening
PAW = Parents are watching
WTF = What the f**k
WYRN = What’s your real name?
These are just a few of the relevant ones, so you can see that without any knowledge of chat lingo your kids could very well keep you in the ‘KPC’ category.
An excellent website that has been set up to help you decipher and understand chat lingo is www.netlingo.com. They even have an ‘Acronyms for parents’ section with the top chat acronyms that parents need to know.
3) To be continued in the next blog...
2) Openly Communicate and Participate
The more that you participate and communicate with your child about their online activities, without seeming meddlesome, the more you will be able to understand what they get up to and how safe they are being.
One of the best ways to do this is to let them show you, and teach you, things on the internet. Be open to learning new things from them and ask relevant (sometimes ‘loaded’) questions as you go. For example: “Thanks for showing me how the chat room works, can you please tell me how to make sure that no-one can view my personal information? Also, what are the best strategies that you use to avoid contact with predators online?” Questions like this allow you to gauge their level of understanding and competence in this area, and if it is good, you can reinforce it with praise. If it is clearly lacking you can give them guidance and help them set new boundaries.
It is also important that you understand chat and SMS text lingo. It can seem like a completely different language and it is important that you at least understand the basics of it to know what is being said.
Examples of just a few of the commonly used chat acronyms are:
A/S/L = Age/Sex/Location
CD9 or just 9 = Parents are around/watching
CTN = Can’t talk now
LMIRL = Lets meet in real life
ILU = I love you
IWSN = I want sex now
F2F = Face to face
GNOC = Get naked on cam
HAK = Hugs and kisses
KPC = Keeping parents clueless
TDTM = Talk dirty to me
PAL = Parents are listening
PAW = Parents are watching
WTF = What the f**k
WYRN = What’s your real name?
These are just a few of the relevant ones, so you can see that without any knowledge of chat lingo your kids could very well keep you in the ‘KPC’ category.
An excellent website that has been set up to help you decipher and understand chat lingo is www.netlingo.com. They even have an ‘Acronyms for parents’ section with the top chat acronyms that parents need to know.
3) To be continued in the next blog...
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